I made a wrong turn at the roundabout and ended up driving about 10 kilometers, along the only road to and from the island before I was finally able to make a u-turn. On the way back, past green earth and mangrove trees at what I imagine to be the tip of Southeast Asia we had time for me to ask the young man a few questions. He gave me some ideas about his experience of Forest City so far. The reality of the school doesn’t match the image he had in mind before coming here. He wondered what kind of international school it was if almost all the students were from China. He wondered why there was an international school here, and why there was a Forest City. What could I tell him?
One of our students, a three-year-old, cried for most of the day until we asked for his family to bring him home and try again the next day. This is not just a case of “giving him what he wants.” It's about building on what is familiar. His mom explained that she usually holds his hand to help him fall asleep. That was the image he held, and the sensory experience associated with rest in his mind. When his family brought him the next day he threw himself at the windows as he watched them leave. I held him tightly as another parents returned to leave a swimsuit and towel in her child's cubby and left again. Seeing how I was holding the boy so tightly to prevent him from throwing himself at the windows, she told the boys family what was happening and his mom and dad returned to talk with him. His mom told me he wanted to be with someone who spoke his language. One of our teachers, a Malaysian Chinese woman who speaks Mandarin comforted him. Every time he is comforted in familiar ways, he gains experience that builds on the foundations provided by his family, and adjusts to school more and more every day.
The same teacher shared her thoughts with me about what was the most important part of her work with the young children here. The picture in her mind, what was important to her, was for the children to be happy at school. If the children were happy, their family would be successful here and they wouldn’t have to go back to mainland China. She is helping the families of these children realize their dream of a better life in a land of possibility. The children’s happiness in school is paramount to the ability of their family to realize that dream in her mind. If they do not realize that dream, they have to go back where they came from.
Our early childhood team came to a decision about the best placement for one of our four-year-olds. We decided that giving him an opportunity to gain more experience developing foundational skills at his own pace outweighed our reasons for considering a placement for him in the Kindergarten class with the five-year-olds. I explained to his mother and father that our goal will be to help him move from primarily parallel and associative play to more cooperative play. More so than his English language vocabulary, experience playing with peers at a similar level of development is essential for developing the foundation he needs to gain the self-confidence to succeed in Kindergarten and beyond.
His family is concerned about their son having the level of support he needs to “be the best,” and they communicated a strong sense that the best place for him to have that support may be in the Kindergarten classroom. As we explored their values and concerns further, his father said that he does not want to push his son, and that he understands what we are saying about allowing his son time to grow and develop naturally. He explained that in China, if a child is four years old they are expected to do complicated maths, and know 300 English words. “That’s why we are here,” he told me. “We chose an American school because in China the government wants to have mind control.” He must have noticed my jaw drop a bit. As I looked up into his eyes, he said, “You know that. We want him to grow up freely with his mind.” He still wants his son to be in the Kindergarten class with the five-year-olds.
When we encounter an unfamiliar experience we rely on our mental models, or the images we hold in our minds, so there is a tendency for us to act in familiar ways even when we know the rules of the road are going to be different. If we envision the future as a place or experience that is different from where we come from, how will we recognize what we value in our new surroundings? How do we know which way to go?
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